your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
