Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
