2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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