I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
