I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize