Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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