I hate your face
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
well you can't waste a boner
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
