Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
