make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
