Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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