i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
