How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
