dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize