My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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