I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
