Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
