the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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