Nicole vs. Life
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
