i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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