my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
