Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Pooping to opera.
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