I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize