is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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