This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
