it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
