maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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