Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
