Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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