yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
