So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize