Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
