My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
