At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
