Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
