I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
