So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
