OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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