You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
