i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
