I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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