My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize