This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
