Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
