I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
