The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think people are normalizing furries
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
