Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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