Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
