Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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