He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize