I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
