it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
