Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize