12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
