HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
