sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize