she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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