Can i not drive my cunt home
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
