Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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