let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
