they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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