you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
