Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
