I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
