i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
