I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize